ASSASSIN

教學點的班老師七年前回到故鄉,她投身教育,因為她不希望瑤族人被瞧不起,她希望透過教育改變族人的命運。有些時候我們會討論族人的生活狀況。

「七百弄是很窮的地方啊。很窮啊,你問王老師就知道,我們上次去七百弄招學生,讓一些窮苦的孩子來這裡唸書。都很窮,整個山都是石頭,種不了東西,養不了人。七百弄的人會嫁來這裡 ,但這裡的女孩子不會嫁去那邊,過更苦的日子。」

"Last night I watched a young woman set fire to herself: a slim young woman, dressed in gauzy flammable robes. She was doing it as a protest against some injustice or other; but why did she think this bonfire she was making of herself would solve anything? Oh, don't do that, I wanted to say to her. Don't burn up your life. Whatever it's for, it's not worth it. But it was worth it to her, obviously." (p. 528)

「女人是這樣,男人也是很辛苦的。山裡面出來的男人書念不多,這地方也沒有什麼工作,都只能作苦力,敲石頭、搬水泥。這邊、這附近幾個村的人都去搬水泥。」

「楊老師,你知道水泥灰碰到汗水會怎麼樣嗎?這些瑤族人水泥灰碰到汗水,一直搬一直搬,你不能不做,全身皮膚、跨下都爛了。」

"I worry about Sabrina, that way. What is she up to, over there at the ends of the earth? Has she been bitten by the Christians, or the Buddhists, or is there some other variety of bat inhabiting her belfry? Inasmuch as ye do it unto the least of these, ye do it unto Me. Are those the words on her passport to futility? Does she want to atone for the sins of her money-ridden, wrecked, deplorable family? I certainly hope not." (p. 528)

「我們瑤族人就是沒唸書,就是沒唸書現在才會這麼苦,世世代代、我們的下一代也跟著苦。有的年輕人說不用唸書,他們去廣東深圳那些地方打工就可以賺錢。那也是幾年前的事,現在哪個工廠要沒唸書的人,至少要中學畢業,連去廠裡打工,如果ABC、車幾線那些數字符號都看不懂,要怎麼縫品號、要怎麼做工,怎麼不被人欺負?更不用說以後還有沒有發展,楊老師,你說是不是?」

"...it was also renowned for its handicrafts, especially its weaving. The secrets of the dyes used by its artisans were carefully guarded: its cloth shone like liquid honey, like crushed purple grapes, like a cup of bull's blood poured out in the sun. Its delicate veils were as light as spiderwebs, and its carpets were so soft and fine you would think you were walking on air, an air made to resemble flowers and flowing water.

That's very poetic, she says. I'm surprised.

Think of it as a department store, he says. These were luxury trade goods, when you come right down to it. It's less poetic then.

The carpets were woven by slaves who were invariably children, because only the fingers of children were small enough for such intricate work. But the incessant close labour demanded of these children caused them to go blind by the age of eight or nine, and their blindness was the measure by which the carpet-sellers valued and extolled their merchandise: This carpet blinded ten children, they would say. This blinded fifteen, this twenty. Since the price rose accordingly, they always exaggerated. It was the custom for the buyer to scoff at their claims. Surely only seven, only twelve, only sixteen, they would say, fingering the carpet. It's coarse as a dishcloth. It's nothing but a beggar's blanket. It was made by a gnarr." (p. 27)

有時候會和寄宿的學童們共享晚餐,回到大化縣城稍微晚了一點。
有時候到醫院看臥病的孩子,吃飯的時間稍微遲了一些。
有時候想吃宵夜、想買點含有三聚氰胺的毒奶茶,在縣城街道上走走,夜裡,稍微涼了一點。

這些時候很多店家關門了,有些一樓店鋪、二樓工作間還透出燈光。可以看到兩排小朋友就一張長長的、光滑的工作桌兩兩對坐,他們拿著針線縫著衣服,悄然無聲,像是奇幻文學的精靈,只有飛蛾攪動周圍的氣流。

一個小廠、一個工作坊,過了一條街,可以再看到零星四佈的紡織廠、黃黃的光芒。

忘記是哪一天,我突然發現這個縣城有好多紡織廠,有好多小孩子安靜地做針線活;也忘記是哪一天,我突然想起The Blind Assassin第27頁的Sakiel-Norn(地點)有這樣的景象,有好多小孩子安靜地做針線活。書裡的與眼見的恍然重疊。

男男女女、老老少少都有各自的困擾。從醒來到睡去,我只是觀察聆聽,只是
" 'I'm not sad,' I said, and began to cry. Sympathy from strangers can be ruinous." (p. 371)

Atwood, Margaret. (1982). The Blind Assassin. Virago Press.

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