Love is a fallacy.

到了大理火車站，出來是「上關」，一般所指的古城在「下關」。如果要補給生活必需品，可以在上關晃晃，一般學校、政府機關也多在上關。大理古城、旅遊業則在下關。所以一到的時候先搭公交車到下關。

在公交車上，一位大嬸D過來攀談。「你找住的地方了嗎？我這邊有一間旅社你可以參考看看。裡面很乾淨，價格也不貴。」「如果你願意的話，可以跟那位小姐搭一間房。這樣攤旅費比較便宜些。」我同意過去看看。公交車開到古城裡，我跟著D大嬸、那位小姐一起到D旅社。

經過一番討價還價，確定入住。

整理完行李，我跟M各自出遊，並沒有因為住在一起刻意同行。

我出門的時候，門房問我明天要不要包車。我想剛到大理，整趟行程還有兩個禮拜，不急，婉拒他。「我明天想在古城裡繞一繞。」回來的時候，門房跟我說，你回房間跟另外一位小姐討論一下吧，難得過來，如果包車繞整個洱海，很舒服的。而且你們有兩個人可以分攤價錢。

「她在樓上嗎？」「是，剛回來。」「好，那我上去跟她討論一下。」緩兵之計，總覺得剛到不太可能積極地巡遊洱海。果然，跟M討論了以後，她也是這麼想的。稍晚門房上來敲門，確認要不要包車。我能夠瞭解想賺錢的心理，而且一般來大理的人行程應該都很緊湊，門房的詢問在情理之中，並不覺得被冒犯或者搶劫。

I had my first date with Polly the following evening. This was in the nature of a survey; I wanted to find out just how much work I had to do to get her mind up to the standard I required. I took her first to dinner. "Gee, that was a delish dinner," she said as we left the restaurant. Then I took her to a movie. "Gee, that was a marvy movie," she said as we left the theater. And then I took her home. "Gee, I had a sensaysh time," she said as she bade me goodnight.

I went back to my room with a heavy heart. I had gravely underestimated the size of my task. This girl's lack of information was terrifying. Nor would it be enough merely to supply her with information. First she had to be taught to think. This loomed as a project of no small dimensions, and at first I was tempted to give her back to Petey. But then I got to thinking about her abundant physical charms and about the way she entered a room and the way she handled a knife and fork, and I decided to make an effort.

I went about it, as in all things, systematically. I gave her a course in logic. It happened that I, as a law student, was taking a course in logic myself, so I had all the facts at my fingertips. "Polly," I said to her when I picked her up on our next date, "tonight we are going over to the Knoll and talk."
"Oo, terrif," she replied. One thing I will say for this girl: You would go far to find another so agreeable.
We went to the Knoll, the campus trysting place, and we sat down under an oak, and she looked at me expectantly: "What are we going to talk about?" she asked.


隔天早上我決定去周城，事不宜遲，雖然還有兩個禮拜，但也代表我只剩兩個禮拜，扣除交通時間，也剩下約10天可以好好看扎染了。昨天晚上我問過附近的人，他們說周城有，所以我想去看扎染，順便找一下短期研習的民居。M說她跟我一起去逛逛。

出門的時候，D大姊在路上看到我們，跟上來問我們要不要包車，她說40元包一天，有自己的車很自由。但是我心裡想，多一個人出意見，可能更不自由吧。因為我的目標很明確，我今天就是想要看扎染，沒有別的想做的事，我也沒想旅遊；我只想要坐麵包車、到周城、看扎染、確定居住點、回古城收行禮。即使她拿著她的毛線跟著我們，一邊走一邊打，我也沒有改變心意。

我告訴她，我今天想隨便逛逛，不一定會出遠門。說完就進去一間CD店，慢慢看，她就會放棄了吧。M偷偷瞄了一下，「她交接給另一個大嬸了。」哇... 恐怖了。

我們從CD店出來，這個大姊隨即跟上來。

「開車的是我外甥。自己人你們不用怕的。多一個人幫你們開車，路上很方便的。」

「唉呀，你們想想，如果我的外甥沒有開車，他今天就沒事做。沒事做，他今天就會去打麻將，打了麻將多半要輸。

「唉呀，要不他就去玩牌了。」

在我的日記中，我寫著Love is a fallacy.

Seated under the oak the next evening I said, "Our first fallacy tonight is called Ad Misericordiam."

She quivered with delight.

"Listen closely," I said. "A man applies for a job. When the boss asks him what his qualifications are, he replies that he has a wife and six children at home, the wife is a helpless cripple, the children have nothing to eat, no clothes to wear, no shoes on their feet, there are no beds in the house, no coal in the cellar, and winter is coming."

A tear rolled down each of Polly's pink cheeks. "Oh, this is awful," she sobbed.

"Yes, it's awful," I agreed, "but it's no argument. The man never answered the boss's question about his qualifications. Instead he appealed to the boss's sympathy. He committed the fallacy of Ad Misericordiam. Do you understand?"

"Have you got a handkerchief?" she blubbered.

這位大嬸跟著我們繞行整個古城，一直到出了古城，她才，

轉交給另一個先生。

這次這個大哥開價30元。他說他去白族三道茶可以打折，問是八折，M說他有學生證可以打對半，不需要他的幫忙。我也沒在意，因為我覺得太煩了，從我美麗的洱塊早餐開始一路跟追；我直接跳上一台往洱源的麵包車。M還在後面跟那位大哥溝通。

"...Let's look at this thing logically. How could you choose Petey Bellows over me? Look at me--a brilliant student, a tremendous intellectual, a man with an assured future. Look at Petey--a knot-head, a jitterbug, a guy who'll never know where his next meal is coming from. Can you give me one logical reason why you should go steady with Petey Bellows?"

"I certainly can," declared Polly. "He's got a racoon coat."

M上車，問：「你確定這台車有到喜洲？那大哥開的價錢其實還合理，我們兩個人，一人才出15元。而且我們要到周城跟喜洲兩個地方，如果加一加，算一算車錢可能差不多。」

「我記得有，我昨天有問人，」我說。「剛剛問他們，這台車確定有到喜洲。坐吧。」

REF: Shulman, Max. Love is a fallacy.